2002-11-29 - 11:37 a.m.
Hair Report 2002
It's grown. A prolific swamp of hair is now piled atop and dangling down the sides of my head. In just the past two weeks additional visual mass has sprouted and mutated the general shape and personality of my being. It now appears that gravity has begun to take hold, and it is flattening out, helmet-like, in a Nicholas from Eight is Enough fashion. From here I will gradually droop downward and peter-out into a Peter Tork, and if I choose, one day don a top-hat and annoint myself as a firey version of Slash.
Shortly after the last report, I made the decision to abandon hair product all together. This decison was half scientific, half surrender. Free from glues and prismic shimmer finishes, the hair settled into a more natural form. There was actually a period of a week or more where it looked somewhat tame, however husky. A turn for the worse was made a few days later, and the former chaos returned on a grander scale.
I decided to punish it with heavy applications of product. This stratagy backfired. Wayward strands became encrusted with hi-gloss staying-power, and the overall bulk and density was increased and reinforced.
So, as the winter winds blow, my hair is free to dance in and filter the air. I needn't a wooly cap to heat me in my travels for I am protected by a great orange rotunda.
